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Deciphering Men's Speech Patterns

Deciphering Men's Speech Patterns
1. "I can't find it"
MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

2. "That's women's work"
MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.

3. "Will you marry me?"
MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there's no peanut butter left.

4. "It's a guy thing."
MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

5. "Can I help with dinner?"
MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table?

6. "It would take too long to explain"
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

7. "I'm getting more exercise lately"
MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.

8. "We're going to be late."
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

9. "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

10. "That's interesting dear."
MEANS: Are you still talking?

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