I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
I don't question your existence - GOD
Next time you think you're perfect...
...try walking on water
Lord help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.
Come the rapture can I have your car?
It's okay, I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.
If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?
Jesus. Don't leave earth without him.
Eve was framed.
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
The Earth Is Full -- Go Home
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me
Cleverly Disguised as a Responsible Adult
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit
Where Are We Going and Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.
Boldly Going Nowhere
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
How Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?