Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.


Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on.