Funny Stuff

Aquarium: interactive television for cats.

Cat: 1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
2. A four footed allergen.
3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
4. A small, furry lap fungus.
5. A treat-seeking missile.
6. A wildlife control expert.
7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
8. A hair relocation expert.
9. An unprogrammable animal.

Cataclysm: Any great upheaval in a cat's life.

Catatonic: A feline medicinal drink.

Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a cat.

Cat Scan: To look for a new cat.

Dog: A cat's device for running practice.

Door: Something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.

Energy: The element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.

Human: An automatic door opener for cats.

Impurrsonate: To act like the cat.

Kitten: A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.

Purrade: An organized march of cats.

Purradise: The garden of Cats.

Purramour: A cat lover.

Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.

Purraphernalia: A cat's personal belongings.

Purrch: Any favored feline napping spot.

Purrchase: Anything bought for a cat.

Purrfume: The scent of an open can of tuna.

Purrgatory: A houseful of kittens.

Purrmission: A feline hunting expedition.

Purrpetual: Everlasting feline love.

Purrplex: A house with two or more cats.

Purrson: A male kitten.

Purrsuit: The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.

Purrverse: A poem about a wicked kitty.

Tooraloorailurophobia: An irrational fear of Irish cats.

Tuner: Sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.

Yawn: A cat's honest opinion openly expressed.