Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
Cat: 1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
2. A four footed allergen.
3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
4. A small, furry lap fungus.
5. A treat-seeking missile.
6. A wildlife control expert.
7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
8. A hair relocation expert.
9. An unprogrammable animal.
Cataclysm: Any great upheaval in a cat's life.
Catatonic: A feline medicinal drink.
Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan: To look for a new cat.
Dog: A cat's device for running practice.
Door: Something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Energy: The element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.
Human: An automatic door opener for cats.
Impurrsonate: To act like the cat.
Kitten: A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.
Purrade: An organized march of cats.
Purradise: The garden of Cats.
Purramour: A cat lover.
Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Purraphernalia: A cat's personal belongings.
Purrch: Any favored feline napping spot.
Purrchase: Anything bought for a cat.
Purrfume: The scent of an open can of tuna.
Purrgatory: A houseful of kittens.
Purrmission: A feline hunting expedition.
Purrpetual: Everlasting feline love.
Purrplex: A house with two or more cats.
Purrson: A male kitten.
Purrsuit: The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
Purrverse: A poem about a wicked kitty.
Tooraloorailurophobia: An irrational fear of Irish cats.
Tuner: Sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
Yawn: A cat's honest opinion openly expressed.