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Cat Definitions |
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Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
Cat: 1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. 2. A four footed allergen. 3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. 4. A small, furry lap fungus. 5. A treat-seeking missile. 6. A wildlife control expert. 7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes. 8. A hair relocation expert. 9. An unprogrammable animal. Cataclysm: Any great upheaval in a cat's life. Catatonic: A feline medicinal drink. Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a cat. Cat Scan: To look for a new cat. Dog: A cat's device for running practice. Door: Something a cat always wants to be on the other side of. Energy: The element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them. Human: An automatic door opener for cats. Impurrsonate: To act like the cat. Kitten: A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two. Purrade: An organized march of cats. Purradise: The garden of Cats. Purramour: A cat lover. Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something. Purraphernalia: A cat's personal belongings. Purrch: Any favored feline napping spot. Purrchase: Anything bought for a cat. Purrfume: The scent of an open can of tuna. Purrgatory: A houseful of kittens. Purrmission: A feline hunting expedition. Purrpetual: Everlasting feline love. Purrplex: A house with two or more cats. Purrson: A male kitten. Purrsuit: The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting. Purrverse: A poem about a wicked kitty. Tooraloorailurophobia: An irrational fear of Irish cats. Tuner: Sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear. Yawn: A cat's honest opinion openly expressed. |
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Random Jokes |
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